When I was going through my divorce I met this man named Dave. What started out as friendship turned very rapidly into realizing this man was IT for me. We have been together for almost three years now and are planning our wedding for october 27th this year 
When I first met him we spoke of our experiences with religion and he grew up Baptist, a pretty involved Baptist no less. Sad to admit God was not a priority in my life but once I returned to the church it began to bother me that Dave had no belief in Jesus. He believed in some version of God but Christ was not the son of God in his eyes. I knew the power of The Savior and prayed for him to experience that power and love. After several runs ins with the Pastors, an evening cookout was planned and Dave was personally invited. To my surprise, he went and had fun. As the week went on and Sunday grew near, I asked Dave to accept a challenge on my part. I asked him to try church with an open mind and I promised him he would see Jesus working in his life if he was open. I had told Dave I KNEW without a doubt he would see God’s presence. As it worked out, that Sunday we did not go to church as my Mom was up visiting and we were saying our goodbyes. That Wednesday, at fellowship, Pastor Dave spoke of his desire to have Dave come to church. Over the weekend Dave had spent some time helping the church with a table they had during a local festival. He did it so I could visit with my Mom but Dave and Pastor Dave had spent time talking and my Dave was intrigued. That next Sunday, Dave came with us to church. I tried to hide my excitement but wasn’t very good at it. After church, I took a nap and Dave woke me up saying it was time for evening service. I didn’t even ask him to go, he just got ready. I watched him to see some sign but saw nothing. The next day he began listening to assorted Christian songs, finding them on his own online. He helped my 10 YO son learn some tabs for the guitar (Christina songs). Wednesday came and I thought I had to work but Dave had said he was going to fellowship. Hallelujah! He was going without me I ended up switching my schedule so we all went and get this – HE TALKED OUT LOUD!! Even more than I did. WAHOO! He looked so good to me that evening. It has been just over a month since the man of my dreams began going to church and the growth I see in him is awesome! He goes with us three times a week, knows more Christian musical groups than I do and bought his first Bible this weekend. He tells me tales of his own “discussions” with God and oddly enough – his happen at Walmart! Yesturday after evening service he told me about how he had Holy Ghost overdose. I laughed so hard! He told me about the lightning bolts going down his arms as he took in his first communion since he was a teen. Between my Bible hangover the one morning (after my all nighter reading His Word!) and his overdose – we are a sight! Right after Dave began to try my “challange”, he saw God working first hand in his life. He had not spoke to his parents in almost 2 years and out of the blue his Mom started having dreams about him and his Dad called him. They have since spoke almost daily at times and were here from Rhode Island for a 4 day amazing visit! He was freaked out in the beginning how things just started happening. He started making the connections – the house we shouldn’t have been able to get, the church right down the street with people I trusted, the Pastor who loves the written word as Dave does – it creeped him out. I just kinda ginned and thought “How great is our Lord and Savior!!” His journey to Jesus is too cute He is the one who came up with this title actually. At first he said he was kicking and screaming but truth be told he’s dancing and singing! He doesn’t argue with God’s plans as I try to – he gets upset he hasn’t been able to hear more of God’s wishes for him. He heard about a fast the pastor was doing and had asked to do. Not just food but to pick something to fast. Now my Dave LOVES coffee. Not just any coffee, he is a coffee elitist who will only drink odd smelling earthy coffee like Starbucks. The bolder the better. YUCK but anyways… He decided to give up caffeine as a fast. While in Walmart to buy the decaf coffee, he was hesitant and I told him to pray (right there in Walmart) for guidance if this was what he should do. He tried, got no answer and then said something in regards to doing it to support me in my own personal fast. I grabbed his decaf and put it back, informing Dave it needed to NOT be about me – it needed to be about God. He heard something – “Be still and mindful” and knew those were not his words so he grabbed the decaf back and has not looked back. That was the first of many of conversations with God in Walmart…..
Everyday Miracles – THE Dave
Everyday Miracles – THE church
We moved into the house and the work began. Several years ago I had attended a church where I actually FELT God for the first time in my life. The feeling actually scared me and life got in the way of my journey. Yet while we were planning the move, I wanted to go back to this church very badly. The first Sunday came and I was too tired to get up. I was upset but planned to go next week. Repeat for three weeks the pattern of wanting to go but being too tired. The fourth Saturday we were here there is a knock on the door and I look and this insanely LARGE sheepdog, a woman and a red-headed teenager. Right away I recognize the red-head as one of the daughter’s of a couple whose home I had attended a bible study at a few years ago. After a brief re-cap of who she was, I was handed a flier about a new church on my street, just 4 streets away. I agreed to try the church. I had to work the next Sunday morning but Sunday night I went, with my two teenagers and they loved it. The ironic part is I was up VERY late Saturday, went to work but still managed to not be too tired Sunday evening. We were welcomed with opened arms. Sad to say I felt not much at the church that day but decided to keep going for my kids’ sake. The following Sunday morning we went and I had high hopes. I wanted to feel God again. I have issues I guess you could say. I have issues trusting people and opening up. I have this tough shell that I let people see and I think I was (and still am even though it is a process for me) literally blocking Jesus from working in me. The first few weeks my children are why I attended church. Eventually I let go enough to experience God in the church and then in my life. I began praying again and actually working toward learning what Jesus is trying to tell me. The miracles within this church are many. Some would say coincidence but I know better. First of all, the couple who I knew, I actually trusted. I envied this couple. They love each other, you could see it and they have been married over 20 years. She home-schools all 5 of her children and has a love for Jesus that is contagious. She is bold in her faith and seems fearless. He has such a gentle grace about him, you just want to talk to him, he makes it easy. This couple had my respect when I first them years ago. My children LOVE this church. Now they would probably like almost any church that treated them well but this one is different. My 16 and 15 year old sons both willingly go to this church three times a week. If that isn’t a miracle with the way most teenagers are today then I don’t know what is. The Pastor and his wife of this church are also oddly easy to connect to. The Pastors wife makes it easy with her gentle yet exuberant love of the Lord. She is a nursing instructor at the local college (coincidence that I have wanted to be a nurse all my life?? NOT!). He is a big teddy bear of a man who has a past that can compete with mine. I swear sometimes this man knows what God is working on in my life and he helps. God has spoken to me several times the last few weeks on not being a closet Christian anymore. I have issues with praying out-loud, raising my hands during worship and doing much more than being selfish in church. He challenges me, intentionally I think. We have a car, not a van. Eight people do not fit in my car. The church and the Pastors houses are within walking distance. Coincidence? NOPE! God’s been busy in my life……….
Everyday Miracles – THE house
I remember very vividly as a teen and even as tween, thinking how could God be real if he spoke with all the people in the Bible yet he is silent today. Where were the miracles? Where were the people who had a direct phone line open to God? God to me was not something you could feel, nor see, yet alone hear. I know better now. God speaks to us daily. It is the human race who is at fault. We do not stop to see what he is showing us and everyday miracles have become coincidence. I had a series of life events that led me to the place I am at right now. Just 7 months ago I was not an active believer in any means. Yes, I did believe God existed but that’s as far as it went. The day started out very badly. The day that set this journey in motion was in the end of February. Our Jack Russell had puppies on January 23rd and it was not planned. We thought she was fixed so didn’t keep my 60 pound Black Lab away from the 12 pound Terrier. The four puppies drained Mama so bad we almost lost her. I had to rush her in to the vet when the puppies were 4 weeks old. Her calcium levels were so slow, she couldn’t even walk. $500 later my dog was fine, the puppies were abruptly weaned and I was devastated. I didn’t have the money to pay for the vet. Money has always been an issue for me, it is not unfamiliar territory but this blow would hurt bad. A few days earlier I had called an ad about a home loan. My credit was not so hot after my divorce but we lived in a town I HATED and we paid way too much rent for a tiny house. I was desperate to move back up north where I knew we belonged. I knew I would never get approved but thought maybe the guy could tell me how I was doing financially. I had purchased a car and the payment history had raised my credit score but I didn’t know how much. So I get home from the vet, late for work and in tears. I am just tired of life’s struggles. I worked so hard and we had nothing to show for it. The thought of renting yet another house was just depressing. My children have moved more time than I even want to admit. Dave (my fiancee’) left to get me breakfast and I was in tears. When he came home I was doing a happy dance on the phone. The guy from the mortgage company said I was PRE-APPROVED for house. OK thanks a bunch but HOW? As of that moment my bank account was negative, I had only been on the job 2 months and yet somehow I was able to start house hunting. At the time I couldn’t explain why the events were taking place but the feeling of house hunting was such a thrill. During the whole process I kept waiting for the call to say the house was not an option, but the call never came. In the middle of the search, the government changed the laws for high risk loans making them much harder to obtain yet somehow I was OK. If you could see my credit report, you would see this as the miracle that I do. We came up north several times to look at houses and even looked in Wyandotte since I was torn about being so far from my Mom who is 70. That decision alone was rough. Who do I side with – my kids or my Mom? She was very upset and lonely when we moved away last time, now it was like we teased her living by her for a year and a half only to move away again. She is very close to my kids and it was a rough time for us deciding. My theory was that finding a house was like finding a wedding dress – I would just KNOW. I remember telling my Mom the very same thing. I had found a few houses in Wyandotte that would have worked for us but didn’t get excited. Her theory was that the money scared me. $100,000 might be a tiny amount for a house but when you are a Mom of six and it is ALL on you, it IS scarey. We spent all my days off house hunting. I was working 40-60 hours a week, plus being in school full time and had taken on the full time job of house hunting. After a few weeks, I just wanted to be done. I was exhausted emotionally. So we settled on a house in Wyandotte since there seemed to be nothing big enough up north. We told the kids we were going to make an offer and my oldest son was very upset. He told me we didn’t even give Owosso a chance. So, I agreed to do the 2 hour drive, house hunting one more time in Owosso. We scheduled a day with the realtor and had 7 more houses to look at. When the realtor walked in this house, before I was even in the door she said I was going to love it. When I described my perfect house to her, it was a big fixer-upper, original hardwood floors, an open, wooden staircase with a foyer and a fireplace. My first look at the woodwork in this house and I was sold. This was the house I had envisioned all my life. I didn’t even get upstairs and I knew this was my house. I had chills all over my body. At the time I would have said the chills were excitement but now I know better. I know those chills – they are Holy Ghost Chills We closed and moved into the house of my dreams in early April. My Mom came to visit and gave me her blessing on my decision. My children are happy, have made tons of friends and we just are thrilled with the house, despite all the repairs it needs. Were the events leading up to us getting this house all coincidence? NOPE! God had a plan…….
It has begun….
I have been a Christian since birth I guess you could say. Born to an unwed Catholic woman who specifically chose Catholic adoptive parents, I was always told I was destined to be a child of God. Attended Catholic schools all my life – the first time I was ever in a public school was when I voted at age 18. I lead the ideal life as a child as far as church involvement goes. Every church has “special” families. You know the ones who are involved in EVERYTHING from choir, Rosary Alter Society, church plays and everything in between. I was very comfortable in church, knew my role, understood what was expected of me. So, why am I then, at age 36, kicking and screaming as I work on building a relationship with God? To say I have lead a rough life would be putting it mildly. I am alive and not in jail by the grace of God alone. I went from a child living an “ideal” life, to a drug addicted teenager, to a married woman with 6 children and then to a divorced Mother of 6 children who was emotionally no more mature than the day I first tried drugs. While I had left the drugs alone almost 2 decades ago – so much of the lifestyle was still in me. I unofficially left the Catholic church as a teen. Somehow I ended up an agnostic after so many years of pain. How could a God capable of creating the stars let me hurt so much I thought. By my mid-20’s I wanted to feel God but not enough to do the work I guess. I had another surge of faith in my early-30’s, just before my divorce. All these little doses of faith were never something I worked at. I went to church, did as I knew. I tried to pray, I saw God working in my life but was so afraid, I held back more than I knew. So now after a stream of life events I find myself routinely having “discussions” (as I like to call them) with God. Me saying, “God, I know you want me to pray out-loud at fellowship today but I am not ready”. As my eyes are closed and I justify why I should remain silent, my eyes start twitching and white flashes in my eyes combined with the rush of heat overtaking my body make me afraid not to speak out-loud and before I know it, it is over. I have prayed out-loud and didn’t burst into flames or turn into a pumpkin. Whoda’ thought?An odd saturday evening, after a very bad evening at work filled with bitterness and contempt I cannot sleep and feel compelled to read Isaiah. I have no knowledge of what is in this book of the Bible or truth be told, even who Isaiah is but I begin reading anyways. Several hours later,I cannot put the Bible down despite the fact that I am beyond tired and need to be up for church soon. It was like a drug that I could not stop using is the only way I can describe this evening. Like when you KNOW full well you have had way too much to drink but keep drinking. After jumping throughout books I have never read, I finally feel peace when I read Luke 6:36. “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven.” I read that verse several times and promptly began to pray. I prayed for forgiveness for my harsh tongue at work, for my wicked thoughts and forgave those who had offended me that evening. Only then could I sleep.So what’s my point? The point of this blog is to chronicle this amazing journey I am on. I have been back at church just a few short months and the things God is doing in my life already is just awe inspiring. OK – to be honest sometimes I call it creepy but hey I am honest at least right?More to come I am sure……….
